Tuesday, September 11, 2012

February 12, 1982: recommendations and my delayed response

This psychiatrist made five recommendations, single spaced- a page long. I'm happy to post all of it, but these sentences stand out:

1) The child should be removed from the home.  I do not think this child will develop normally in this environment.

2) Many of her conflicts are internal (depression, phobias) and I think intensive therapy two or three times a week with this child for a period of six months to two years could mean the difference between a totally dysfunctional borderline adult and a productive member of society.

Thirty-one years later, all I can say is thank you dear psychiatrist. Thank you for using your words and getting me out.

At forty I understand a few things that didn't make sense at nine.  The deep down dirty secret is this: I told.  My bio-father was transitioning from guru to cult leader, right before my eyes.   He wasn't alone, he was pushed even, by a wife with a Ph.D in communications and a business in stress reduction workshops.  My step-mother's  arsenal included the Meyer's-Briggs and a teenage daughter who was as backfische as can be.   My father's arsenal is best described by the psychiatrist who interviewed him thirty years ago, "a bearded white male who was quite tall and muscular."  In other words: hot young Jesus material.  A carpenter to boot.

A year after your death, all I can say is thank you dear dad.  Thank you for finally moving on.

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