bio-mother relations

After a thirteen year gap, I've started 'writing relations' with my bio-mother. Her artist's-scrawl handwriting is distinct. Her pattern of reaching out on birthdays distinct. The inevitable waft of patchouli, also distinct.

This week it arrived. A little early. Her initials on the envelope: j h-b. Just like that, lowercase and hyphenated. juliet hapsburg-bourbon. The card, a color photo of beagle puppies 38 and 42 days old, on a palest-of-pink background.

17th of July 2010 FOR
28th of July

Leigh,
A good 38th yeAR FOR
you with hARd woRK +
FuN! love summer doors
+ wiNdows All oPeN.
Much love, juliet

P.S. iN RelAtivity theoRy
tiMe doesn't flow
but is, AS the 4th diMeNSioN
AS stAtic As SPACe.
what A PeAceFul
thought.
Bye
HAPPY BiRthdAy

___

I appreciate succinct. I'm working on a letter for her, though, that may open the floodgates. I might be wishing for cryptic and succinct then.

One translation of her note: "forgive me, because the bad parenting was inevitable and in the end, meaningless."

Maybe when you're 67ish this is how you look back on parenting, but as she notes I'm near 38 and still integrating my childhood as I parent my young children. 4th diMeNSioN or not, I'm still putting some effort into it. That must be all the hARd woRK + FuN! that she mentions.

Just in case she's become internet savvy, and ever lays eyes on this, let me say: Juliet, I'm easing into forgiveness in our own version of relativity.